dristi 101

dristi is my new favorite astanga topic. if you have lino's book, you can look up any of them you are unsure of. there are 9 dristis, but we will begin with the 4 used during surya (sun) namaskar (greeting).

1.nasagrai (nose gaze)
2.angusta ma dyai (thumb gaze)
3.broomadhya (third eye)
4.nabi chakra (naval)

there are 9 vinyasas in surya namaskar

1.ekam-inhale hands up-angusta ma dyai
2.dve-exhale forward fold-nasagrai
3.trini-inhale head up-broomadhya
4.catvari-exhale chaturanga-nasagrai
5.panca-inhale up dog (urdhva mukha svanasana)-broomadhya
6.sat-exhale down dog (adho mukha svanasana)-nabi chakra
7.sapta-inhale jump forward-broomadhya
8-astau-exhale forward fold-nasagrai
9.nava-inhale hands up-angusta ma dyai
samasthitih-nasagrai
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pronunciation of sanskrit numbers 1-9

1-ekam-yay kum
2-dve-dway
3-trini-chreenee
4-catvari-chatwori
5-panca-pancha
6-sat-shot
7-sapta-sapta
8-astau-ashtoe
9-nava-now wah

happy learning!

lungi love

regretfully, i finished "shantaram" and it's impossible to follow that one up. so i opted for the ridiculous and the sublime, 2 books that were hand delivered to my doorstep by friends. "journey to the east" and "scar tissue", a high school herman hesse and the biography of anthony kiedis from the redhotchilipeppers. i'm already almost finished with "scar tissue" and somehow feel soiled. that boy is about nothing but chicks and heroine. which makes him a very boring fellow indeed, and quite pleased with his tattooed self. but it's kind of fun anyhow. every year i bring a pile of books that don't get read, but this year i have to scrounge for reading material. i'm actually obsessed with books now, which is a tremendous achievement, remembering the television addiction i left at home. i was actually obsessed with "america's next top model" and "celebrity fit club." i may have been better off with a heroine addiction myself! and the horror of best sellers and romance novels scattered throughout this island is of epic proportions.

yoga is intense, as usual, and i am getting more than my share of assistence. i am learning a lot of subtle things i was not aware of-especially in intermediate series and am quite anxious to share the knowledge. the adjustments give here are not for the meek. they are extremely firm and frequent. they have eyes in the backs of their heads and they watch everything-check for bandhas, and make sure you are using correct dristi (gaze point).(follow up on dristi 101 in the next post)

there are at least 200 students right now and lino is making 70% of them do led classes for the next 2 days, which means they are really getting down to business with teaching correct vinyasa. YAY! the rest of us get to do mysore at 6am. this is the first time he has ever done this. the workshop is very organized and like a well oiled machine. it's very impressive. penucha has arrived today, so we are lucky to have 6 adjusters at the moment. it's SO good this year i doubt i will ever miss a winter here and encourage anyone who can get away in 2006 to come and join me. it really transforms the practice and i find it way better than the shala in mysore where theres too many people you just fall through the cracks.

i have officially fallen in love with the lungi, just like the turban. here in the hot south, it's all the men wear. it's a piece of cloth wrapped and tucked worn long to the floor or turned into a man mini-skirt. it's always paired with a crisp colorful button down shirt and perfect hair, of course. and i think the lungi for me has become a symbol for the place in india that my heart is really in-kerala. i just love kerala!

xmas eve

xmas eve
Originally uploaded by bindifry.

i posted a few dance photos and some other people stuff. this was a pretty fun night. he was one happy dancer. he was juggeling sparklers and shaking everything he had.

the crusher

so that girl who had all the good stories showed up at lino's class today. she was not allowed to drop in for a day, probably because he does not know her. she would have to commit to a week, which is fair. she got all snotty, stormed out and told a mutual friend, "lino is so arrogant!!" "my practice is way more advanced than most of the people in the room!"

that statement is SO sad. why is it that many yogis think the world owes them a big bow because they are "advanced?" i mean, yoga to me has always been about what you can't do,not what you can. because you are proud of your postures, this does not make you more yogi-er than though. i've met way too many people who are like, "look at me!! i'm such a yoga god cause i can do third series! actually, i'm too good to even talk to you!" i can't tell you how many people i have met over here in yoga land that exhibit this nauseating behavior.

xmas was way low key. yoga one hour later-7 instead of 6, my usual brekkie of gobi oothapam (cauliflower grilled rice cake with sambal (spicy lentil gravy), coconut chutney and tomato chutney, ginger tea, and fresh lemon soda-a true addiction. i opted for a little nap instead of attending the yoga party. davey, my irish acquaintance, yelled outside my door and wanted dinner at sunset. ok, cause i was on my way out anyhow. rooftop below average food, above average sunset, and below average conversation. because like so many people i meet, all they want to do is talk about themselves. even if they ask you a question, they don't listen to the answer. this is not communication to me. and i end up being one bored son of a bitch.

i spent xmas eve with davey and ann, another irish lassi, who is a yogi also. after my dinner with fellow chicagoans, i hung out with them at the way below average leos restaurant. it was amusing watching 2 people from the same country communicating. they could have been speaking malayalam it was so foreign, when out of the blue, the south indian ricki martin appears to juggle his sparklers and shake his booty like no one else can. my god he was flamboyant. and i wanted a piece of it. i couldn't help myself and promptly leaped up on the stage to fulfill my bollywood dream and dance with ricki khan martin to ole ole ole! soon about 3 dozen indian youth and geriatrics gathered and formed the typical stadium audience i'm so used to. god they love it when you dance or sing, cause everyone loves to do those things here. unfortunately what put a damper in the performance was the fact that the cd was skipping, making dancing a definite challange.

tina is here and we're about to embark in the greatest 10 days of yoga. she is the lion goddess-the crusher. i've named adjustments after her. she is very quiet and shy, you hardly even know she's there, when suddenly your being squashed like a rotton tomato! she is supremely gifted. lino's wife and teacher. she's kind of like a female sharath, if you know what that means. and incredibly humble. i want to be her when i grow up!

vagina mudra

so i noticed a horrible dead rat like smell in my clothes closet only to discover the shell i had brought back from vizhinjam had a decomposing crab getting eaten away by hungry maggots! super!
honestly, there's nothing worse than rotting shellfish.
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amir khan's new wife looks just like my friend cheekoo, who fancys him. are you there, miss lal?
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i met a girl from san francisco who was in bangalore at a yoga confrence and somehow ended up here. super friendly with some very good stories i am about to unload. she had been shown all the pretty paths, the river, the palms, all that is lovely about this tropical paradise, met a little girl who was sharing her little hand made doll house, when suddenly an indian man appeared, removed his member and preceded to begin "choking the chicken" so to speak! in front of the child and everything! so the woman starts yelling at the dude and he says politely-"sorry" and does his indian head wag.

the next one was about a certain celebrity yogi who was swearing like a trucker, multi-tasking with 2 cell phones and a blackberry at the airport. she turns up at the conference with a posse of indian youth touching her feet, while she is dressed all in orange like a sadhu, totally "yogic" constantly holding the vagina mudra.

another she told of a tattooed girl with the entire body of kali on her back and front of her body. indian children tore off her shirt, lucky she had a bra on, only to discover the much worshipped deity tattooed to her, and fell to their knees and began to do puja!

HO-ho-HO

ok-the radio-AIR, which stands for all india radio-the best damn radio in the world is on and that dreadful theme song from the six flags great america commercial (the one where the kid in the old man suit dances all over the place)is playing with malayalam lyrics. i am wondering whose version had come first. the radio in india is one of it's finest treasures. it was created so all people in india would have access to free radio and they managed to set up 98% of the country with access. i remember a friend asking me why i don't need to take my own music with me to india. "why? when all you really need is a transistor radio and some strong indian made batteries!" she did not understand. "won't you miss western music?" "are you kidding? i come here to get away from it! you can't hear the stuff i hear here back home." i love to sponge up the stuff they play here cause it rocks. nowhere in america can you hear all punjabi radio, rajasthani radio (which REALLY impressed me) and tamil/malayalam radio. there is only one station in most of india, and it varies regionally, but the same format. kind of like npr-national public radio. only the languages change, and slightly different style of music, but always great and always fascinating. they play regional, english, and hindi songs-everything from classical ragas to filmi to backstreet boys, john denver and air supply.

i've been feeling lonely and stir crazy. i am counting the days i will be leaving. i am very homesick and have booked my flight back to bombay, which is kind of a pain. i have to take a train north of kochi, taxi to kochi, fly into bangalore and stay a night, fly into mumbai next day, stay another night, then come home. is ANYTHING easy here???
in the midst of my self deprecation, along comes angela, the girl i met from london during cooking class and invites me to dinner at sabrimala. an x-cook from lonely planet stole the magic gravy recipe and opened his own vegetarian restaurant. this is a good sign, cause i've been feeling anti social, blue, and i would have just sat around for the next 3 days moping and feeling sorry for myself. the holidays depress me. i have no family and i am away from home for the third year in a row. ho ho ho. i know-it's my choice, but it's still sad ass.

the island (i call it this because it feels like a tropical island cut off from the rest of india) is now filled with obnoxious europeans with their ill behaved children. my hotel chock full of screaming danish babies that like to play basketball outside my room at midnight. obviously they don't have to get up at 6 to do yoga. i just stuff my ears with my squishy ear plugs, close my windows and pray for SOME sleep. such a commodity.
HO-HO-HO

the boys

the boys
Originally uploaded by bindifry.

these are my friends-well, sharaf and his best childhood friends. you can't imagine the weird looks from fishermen-a white girl and 6 indian boys. here they are holding up a bottle of cheap rum. they washed it down with water-took about 30 minutes for 4 guys to drink it. ick. and when they ran out, they swam out to a swank hotel with a roll of rps in their mouth and got 10 more kingfishers-2 of them holding onto the bag as they swam back to the boat. hardcore. i pretty much ignored them, cause they speak mostly malayalam anyhow, and they ignored me. i just took in the sights and enjoyed the rather amusement park fast speed the boat was going. i am very lucky to have had this cool experience. tourists ane women are never allowed to ride in the fishing boats. once in a life time experience and they were very sweet for doing this for me. now i am the one saying "thank you very much-i am very happy!"
of course my face is badly burnt and it did wonders for my cold, so i missed yoga the next day. oh well

yellow mosque in sharaf's village

yellow mosque in sharaf's village
Originally uploaded by bindifry.

this is the mosque that sharaf goes to. he lives in a small fishing village in kerala called vizhinjam.

fishing boat trip

fishing boat trip
Originally uploaded by bindifry.

well the boys decided to take me on sharaf's brothers boat today. it was a big one that was motor powered and moved really fast, like an amusement park ride. for 4 hours, we combed the arabian sea, and i got to see many fishing villages, temples and mosques.

E-G-O

yesterday was another splendid vinyasa workshop with lino. he was in high spirits, which always makes for fine entertainment. i have taken this counting workshop several times over the years, and it gets clearer each time. he demonstrates the real science behind astanga-each breath has a specific count- each asana a specific amount of vinyasas-breath movements. this has been an issue in my classes as well as his. some students love to linger and mince around the asana, when they should be taking only one long breath. this helps to bring the attention to the bandhas and breath, rather than fixating on perfect asana, which is a different style of yoga (vinyasa flow or iyengar). many students waste their time with thinking too much, and incorporating unneccesary movements when entering and exiting postures. this is NOT astanga. astanga is a very precice science. unfortunately some students are stubborn as bulls, and think they know what is best for them, when the fact is that they are fooling themselves into thinking they are doing astanga. i can't tell you how often this system gets no respect, some even dragging toys (props) into the mix, which is NOT astanga! guruji is famous for drop-kicking blocks out of his classroom! it's unfortunate, because these students are wasting theirs and my time, are completely disillusioned, disrespectful to me, and will never reap the fruits of astanga yoga. astanga is not a popular yoga because it requires complete surrender to the system. it's a science. and westerners don't like to be told what to do. (why is this never a problem with asian people?) i often wonder why some students come to my class, because they never change these problems. like i am supposed to cater to what THEY want, like it's supposed to be all about them or something. pity. there's a 3 letter word for that- E-G-O.

just let go

yesterday i saw my friend sharaf and i took him to see aaru-cause he did not see it yet-big surprise, cause it's rare i can turn him onto something-virrumaandi, kill bill and this one was it. he loved it and was back to his old self,(last year he was very affected emotionally by the tsunami cause he spent time in tamil nadu bringing supplies and collecting money) smiling, laughing, saying "thank you very much" "i am a very happy man" because it's rare a rickshaw driver gets taken to a movie, fed beer, AND get paid. in return, he has invited me out for a day on his brother's fishing boat tomorrow! woo hoo! this is also rare. and it's good, well not good for his brother, but he has been out of work cause of the floods.

i unfortunately had to use the ladies room at the cinema, which i always dread. it had a padlock on it, which they came to open for me. in it there were 4 stalls without doors and indian style toilets without a hole in the floor! just a drawing of a toilet! so i lifted my skirts and squatted and pissed on the floor, the urine splashing all over my shoes and feet--super. i can't say that i've seen that one before. and of course after wiping with my hand, no running water. super. it's always a very very good idea to pack moist towelettes in india, should this occasion occur, and you can bet on it.

we stopped at BAR (the "bars" in india have no interesting names.) simply a generic watering hole that has many individual grey compartments much like an office, but the doors close and there's a buzzer on the wall you ring for service. hardcore seedy. it really makes you feel like a convict when you go in there, especially if you are a white woman with a black rickshaw driver. i tried to get 2 parothas (steamed chappati bread) but they refused unless i bought some curry to go with it! "i don't want any curry" i told them. "you are buying curry!" "don't want any! just parotha" "no" "NO??" they have a fast loud conversation in malayalam with sharaf. "they said they won't give you bread unless you get some curry." this is absurd to me, but i was exhausted at this point, "ok. give me some vegetarian kadhai". it was actually pretty good.

i woke at 620am, walked through the winding paths to my first mysore class, and did a nice slow primary. maria paola (my very favorite)was there and i was so happy to see her. now i have a cold, so i need to move slow the rest of the week. it's ok cause i'm not in any kind of hurry. the greatest lessons yoga can teach us is when to pull back, and how to just let go.

you must dance with smiling face-afterwards it will be yum yum yum!!

HI-GRO
on indian television, this is some kind of foot device that claims to make you grow as much as a half a foot. don't think we have this in the states.
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being alone is a challange-especially if you are shy, but smiling alot can go a long way. my technique is to first eavesdrop on conversations, gather the info so i can ask questions, and then take the plunge. it helps if they are drinking beers, so i know they won't be snotty. that's how i met an old dutch artist who had been to india 10 times, so he had many good stories and future travel advice. afterwards, i was swept away by the hot indian waiter whom i've known for 3 years who seemed particuallarly interested in me. however, he invited me to "talk" with him at 10:30 pm after his shift at a hotel. hmm. had to blow that one off. a young hot indian and me at a hotel late at night is just asking for trouble. it's weird, cause it seems if you are married, you almost become a dude magnet. go figure. maybe it's the committment thing-casual sex must be happenning like crazy here. they sure hide it well.

friday morning was my first practice with lino-a traditional led class called very slowly-about 2 1/2 hours, which was good for me. very nice. i just love that man lino. "reeelax your baby toe...." it quite wiped me out, but the beauty of this place is you can always take a nap pretty much whenever you want.

in the evening, i took my first cooking course with the famous SIVA of lonely planet. it was the best rps300 (US$6) i've ever spent and tons of good healthy fun. i even made a friend from london.

siva gathered the 10 of us around the cooking burners. it was like the indian emeril, but way more cool. siva has a unique way of speaking. the first things he said about cooking indian food was, "first most important. you must have a good mood. you must dance with smiling face!!! afterwards, it will be yum yum yum!"
he taught us 10 items in 2 hours, everything when prepped properly takes under 5 minutes to prepare "siva's very own fast food!" the first was his "magic sauce", an all purpose basic gravy you can use in 128 (?) items. with it we learned to make aloo gobi (potato & cauliflower), channa masala (spicy chick peas), aloo palak (potato and spinach). after, we learned to make fresh coconut chutney and tomato chutney (my favorite-he singled me out on that one cause he knows how much i like it, "maybe, lisa, you go back home and make your own dosa stall!" "how did you know my plan?" i replied. i got hands on experience making my very own masala dosa. that definitely was a highlight. than we made dal, dal fry, chappatis, and vegetable biryani-siva's own, with pineapple, cashews and raisens. we got to eat everything we made, no additional charge, and i left stuffed and very happy. i now feel very confident to start my own indian kitchen. it was a great way to spend a friday night. siva does indeed rock!

i think i will be happy now

i arrived in sunny kerala yesterday on a 2 hour jet airway flight. i am delighted how easy it is to fly domestically here after having so many hell journeys on busses and trains. and they have about 10 different airlines to choose from, so that makes it easy.
after setting up in my "luxury" pad, i strolled the beach trying to find friends. it was kind of like a ghost town. i guess the tsunami has kept people away. i ran into an old pal-shibu-who is working at a new restaurant. workers move around quite a bit here, but they are still here somewhere. anyhow, i asked what he suggested, and he said prawns with coconut rice. ok. even though i vowed to stay vegetarian on this trip, i figured what the hey? i received 4 pieces with the rice-quite fresh and lovely-almost like lobster. when i got the bill, it was rps500! whoa! that's really expensive (US$10). when i checked the menu, it said rps100 ($2). when i asked him why i was charged 5 times the price, he said, "sorry, lisa. they are jumbo prawns."
now in india, you MUST ALWAYS as the price first, even if you see it printed on the menu. and of course, it always sucks to be ripped off by who you think are your friends. his loss. won't be back there. i'll stick to my lonely planet veg restaurant.

i went to find lino at class, because he lets people practice on moon day and just supervises. there he was. about 20 knuckleheads practicing on moon day. i can start tomorrow-friday. each friday are lead primary class at 7am just like they do it in mysore. cool! i'm ready! and i get to start in the first or second group-630-645. the earlier the better, for me.

i went back to my room last night and discovered how ghetto my rps750 room is. they stuck me in a room without windows, privacy, electrical outlets, a/c (they promised i would have this), no tv (also a promise),no way to clean my clothes, stinking of moth balls, and a fan that was unable to be adjusted-was permanently on high and almost falling out of the ceiling! it was so loud with the workers congregating outside at the desk and the phone ringing off the hook.

so i got up at 7 and after seeing lino, went and priced a few places by the beach. i found a place twice the size as the other with a balcony, adjustable fan, outlets wedged right between my high speed internet pad and lonely planet (where i eat almost all my meals) for rps250!! how happy am i? that's US$5 per day, rather than US$15! and with the flying i did, i can not really afford such a place.
lucky for me i am reading "shantaram" a fabulous novel that is 1000 pgs long and very detailed about bombay, my favorite city. the book was given to me last year by judy and daniel neiman and i have finally got the chance to chew into it. i think i will be happy.

city palace

city palace
Originally uploaded by bindifry.

i've uploaded some pictures from jaipur-check em out

at the golden temple-amritsar,punjab

at the golden temple-amritsar,punjab
Originally uploaded by bindifry.

here i am at the golden temple. quite a beautiful and peaceful place.

at the wagha border

at the wagha border
Originally uploaded by bindifry.

here i am on the border of pakistan and india in punjab. this was definitely a highlight of my trip. more pictures on my site:
www.flickr.com/photos/bindifry/

filum,filum,filum

the 2 biggest reasons i like bombay are food and film. can't get enough of either. yesterday we saw the 10am showing of "hanuman"-india's first animated feature. who dosen't love hanuman, right? this was so endearing-it was a bit sloppy, but cute and obviously modeled after the 1930s vintage disney shorts. there were times when you could see mistakes in the drawings, fills not proper, etc, but it just added to the charm. we see hanuman being born and turning into the powerful monkey king in the traditional ramayana fashion. i immediately set out to buy the soundtrack because it was excellent, and had my favorite singer, kailash kher, on many of the tracks, as well as sonu nigam.

after, we bought tickets for our evening show at 520, because this is opeffning week for a handful of hindi filums. we chose "kalyug" a movie about the porn, or "blue" film industry. all unknown actors, pakistani singers on the soundtrack, same people who did "paap", one of my favorite recent soundtracks. after strolling the city on a steller day, watching some cricket in the park, going to planet M, and doing some street shopping-(i purchased some great little yoga towels for some special girlie students of mine and the vendor held my rp100 bill flat in the palm of his hand as his friends marvlled at the crispness, utterring "atm"), we made our way back to the inox multiplex. kalyug did not disappoint. it was a political film about human trafficking and how most of them end up in the blue film industry. it was a fantastic soundtrack, and a great treat seeing all unknown actors. i really get sick of the same recycled hindi film actors over and over and over again.

we walked back towards the bay where we knew of a place called gokal near the gateway that is a supposed gay hangout with dozens of heavy drinkers. it was a real big dive, me being the only female in the entire a/c room, and not one male staring! such a treat. jeff ate the traditional pomfreit and liver masala, i stuck with prawn koliwada and some biryani (instead of chunks of chicken, there was a massive whole piece buried underneath the rice-a new one on me). the menu offered bottles of booze rather than glasses. we stuck with a couple of hayward 5000s.

but the real treat was this morning. there was one showing only at 930am sunday of a tamil film called "aaru"-i knew this had to be a good one because bombay does not get too many of these, and i expected there to be a small turnout. got up at 7 and did my yoga (strength is coming back!), went down to the kamut-for some idly, and to our delight, hundreds of tamil people huddled around the regal theatre for the one time showing of this big movie. and let me tell you, tamil movies put the current crop of hindi movies to shame. they've always been my favorite, because they usually are regular people (not yuppies), dark skinned (try to find that in hindi movies)-they dance like it's the last time on earth, they fight harder and better than any movies i've ever seen, even hong kong cinema, and they are just a true delight for the senses. my heart was racing throughout the entire film. and i got big pit stains from being constantly on the edge. the big star was surya, who i've seen before. and plenty of comic relief. i couldn't tell you exactly what it was about, but i could tell it was about betrayal, political corruption (most tamil movies tackle these themes) and, of course, love.

and it totally whet my appetite for the south. i can't wait to get to kerala! it kisses tamil nadu, and the films i end up seeing are tamil and malayalum. the sole hindi cinema is empty, you can hardly get near the local films. and it's SO exciting because the crowds really get into it-cheering their heros on, clapping and whistling. i love it.
now i remember why i love the south SO much. don't believe it when they tell you that the south is not the "real" india. it's more real and magical than you can ever believe.

french yak

quotes of the week about jeff's beard
"you are a french yak" "osama bin laden!! ha ha ha!" "are you from pakistan, sir? no? arizona?"
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so the last day in jaipur was not too bad. i don't want to dis on the whole of rajasthan because of my personal mishaps and inability to deal with the hell that accompanies the heavily touristed areas. i just want to put it behind me and learn from these experiences and put them into practice next time i visit india. (strange i know i will return repeatedly despite the hell) i will only visit the more obscure places. i will always wipe my glass well before drinking from it. i will take my time when being sold tours. i will not travel by train and pretend it's some kind of "fun" adventure. i will embrace deccan airlines. i will only visit one place per week.

we began the day trying to find the cheapest flight possible out of the shackles of jaipur to mumbai. everytime we would call somewhere, we would get this "haaalooo??? haaaloooo???" and than dial tone. and quotes we did get were in the rps 9000 range-200US. we finally settled for the hotel's advice and went with the posh, but not cheap, but convenient indian airlines because we were beat down trying to do it on our own. they sent us to travel care (travel care-that makes me chuckle) where they actually lost our credit card trying to multi-task, dozens of posters on the wall of dennis the menace and charlie brown preaching about making the customer "happy" - of course they pointed their male dominated index fingers at me-"we gave the card to HER (her is obviously a dirty word here) i just barked like a rotweiler and they found the card. amateurs. all of them. period.
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GURUCOOL CLASSES- we kept seeing this sign with a phone number advertised all over jaipur and wondered what it meant.

ok ok ok...so for the final night we took our first peddled rickshaw (quite small and pretty hard on the bum-poor fellows with their boney asses) to an amazing vegetarian south indian restaurant called "surya mahal." there, we feasted on papad stuffed with aloo (potatos), sarsoo (broccoli rabe like spinach but way more bitter), chickpea paratha, malai kofta (veg meatball in rich tasty gravy), and chach (buttermilk). 4 guys stood over us with our american appetites marvelling at our bollywood knowledge. "you should have come a few hours earlier-my brother is in the movies shooting munna bhai mbbs II and we could have hooked you up!" chirped our favorite waiter. i shout out my faves like shah rukh khan, sanjay dutt, and anil kapoor, and he hit me with raj kapoor, so i hit him with dilip kumar, dev anand and guru dutt. it was like cricket! he taught us the bollywood family tree-who is related to whom-the kapoors, the kumars, but he was wrong about om puri and amrish puri being brothers, because we knew they were just cousins, and when i said "i did not know that, obviously insulting him (i do this ALL the time with indian cinema) jeff just poked me and said "YES!" because he had learned not to disrespect, not correct even though they are wrong. f...that. i think they should know the truth! however, that always gets me into trouble. how the hell could a white girl from chicago know more about hindi cinema than a native indian? well, i do my research and i'm absolutely sure. what is wrong with having the facts? indians don't seem to feel wrong about correcting your mistakes.....whatever. i let it go.

we struck up a relationship with the man next to us who was eating many courses of food. he learned our entire history and invited us to his home, but too late! we were leaving at 6am in the morning. darn it. i always seem to miss the good stuff. after he left, our pal said "i think that man was tipsy.

we had a great time, and when we left, he said, "good luck getting into the movies-suppose the director wants you to shave your beard?"
"no problem. it will always grow back."
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off to the famous raj mandir cinema in jaipur-an elaborate castle that had been turned into a film theatre. and a spectacle to the eyes, and surround sound to boot! like a junkie in a candy store i was, panting like a dog. kyon ki was playing with 2 of my least favorite actors-salman khan and kareena kapoor. at least om puri was in it for good measure, and a cast of good small parts. how i marvled at the interior-the chandeliers, the carvings on the wall, the squishy carpets all pink, like real royalty. everyone was taking photos of the interior with their cell phones, so i took some photos with my camera and GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! i got accosted by 2 men in brown-grabbing my camera from my arm! "you have to cut off my had to get this camera, mister" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" they could NOT have my camera. i held onto it like it was my lifeblood. they dug their fingers into my wrists, they pulled my body up the stairs, but i would NOT LET GO. the whole crowd was behind me shaking their heads in that traditional nebulous indian head shake, which meant "what the fu...????" this is out of control!!! i say-no filum, no filum! i delete! i delete! watch!-so i delete every interior photo in front of this crowd and the men in brown. and i proceed to the "diamond" entry box seats to see the film i don't really want to see because i'm there to see the interior of this very famous cinema. regretfully, i have no photos of this place except the outside. whew!!! that was indeed a close one. you could buy tickets in sections ruby,saphire,emerald or diamond. all the whities were in the expensive seats, of course, many obviously bollywood virgins de-flowering before our eyes-and to a bad salman khan movie, nevertheless. so we sat through half of a stupid re-make of cuckoos nest (nice try-salman khan as jack nicholson???) only there was the love twist where we find out why salman is crazy-he throws his wife into a pool and drowns her by mistake. we had to leave at intermission (all indian movies have intermission 90 minutes into the film for smoking and peeing and eating-most of these films are 3-4 hours long) because we had to check out of our hotel, arrange a ride to the airport, and watch a 2 hour special on john lennon on star world cable tv.
i am landing in mumbai as i write this, 2 hours it takes, one healthy south indian brekkie served-vada and oothapam with "jive juice",chai,fruit,yogurt,water,and chutney & sambar. indian airlines rocks. i like flying. and today, well at least at the moment, there seems to be a god.

you teach me yoga....

so we got of the train around 930pm. like a swarm of bumblebees, we are accosted by dozens of rickshaw touts-the most hardcore ones i have ever encountered (and i've been to agra). unfortunately, jaipur is one of the most touristy places in india and that fact has ruined it completely. i hate rajasthan for this. you can't walk anywhere without a circle of touts/beggers/hawkers around you at all times. and after being so sick and hard trip from the get go, this has not been the camel riding, elephant loving, palace trip i had dreamed of.

so these assholes won't take NO for an answer, "prepay, prepay," we are trying to find the legitimate window to pre-pay, because we already have done our homework. this is the one time i am actually glad not to be a man here, because they swarmed jeff, not me. women are invisible here. unless you are not wearing your dupata (scarf over boobs-i made the mistake of not having one last week in bombay and believe me, i was not invisible-well, my boobs weren't anyhow).
we plunged ourselves sweating right into the government tourist office, panting-"pre-paid windows are where?" "sir, do you have a reservation at your hotel?" "no" "well, you should try one of my hotels" he precedes to try to sell us one of his, nowhere near where we want to stay. "no. we want to stay by the park" "very well. call them and ask if they have a room" we call, they have one, and tell us to wait right there while they send someone to get us for free. thank you. there may be a god after all. but probably not.
within a half a minute, a dude appears (ali)with a paddle with the name "madhuvan"our hotel on it. we scamper after him, ditching the pile of dirty shoeless rickshaw peddlers, into a pristine old white ambassador taxi. on the way, he begins to tout us-"i give tours of jaipur. it is my tour, the jaipur i know, but you can have me for 12 hours and we go many places." me, in my delight and good instinctive "feeling" i have for mr. ali, without much thought ,cause he gives us that "if you do not decide now, i will be busy already"line of bull, says "yes!" because mr. ali is a kind of savior to me at this point. you have NO idea what it's like to land from a train into jaipur. we stay in a gorgeous mini marble palace with a flower garden and amazing hospitality. now there might be a god.

we rise in the morning, drag my bum to the yoga mat and squeak out a weak half primary, but it helps and VOILA! ali is waiting ready to take us on our tour!

first we visit jaipur city palace. this cool old palace still houses relatives of the maharaja and has a bunch of courtyards and buildings from 18th century. there's a palace of the winds for the ladies to watch the street, and a maharani palace which was the queen's apartment. it has amazing ceiling frescos and collections of old weapons-including the dagger that turns into scissors upon impaling the victim and opens inside and disembowls-handy! as well as the largest pieces of silver according to the guiness book of world records-in the world. these giant silver pots were used to carry sacred ganges water.

next, we went to the observitory called jantar mantar. it was created by jai singh in the early 1700s and contains the worlds largest sundial and 13 massive stone instruments for calculating movement of celestial bodies, positions of constellations, calculates hindu calandar, and all 12 zodiac positions. wish we had a guide for that one cause it kind of made me speechless.

then ali took us to the grave of the maharajas. we decided to get a guide this time, and at light speed, he spoke SO fast and ran SO far ahead of us, i did not even know what was going on. apparently he was anxious to get his rupees and get back to his newspaper. the only thing i got out of it was one of the graves had an old king who was over 7 feet tall and over 500 pounds. he ate over 100 chapatis for breakfast each day. and tiny dirty sneezing begger kids by our side the entire time sneezing diseases everywhere, "chocolate? chewing gum? one rupee?" i am trying to get away from him because i don't want tuburculosis or typoid, thank you. i know this all sounds terribly cold to you, but if you spend enough time here, believe me, you would feel the same way.

the next place was outside of jaipur, called the amber fort. it was built at the end of the 1500s during war. you can walk, take a jeep, or an elephant up. we opted to walk, because the elephants are severly abused like all animals here and we did not want to contribute. first you walk through a pool, than a courtyard and then a bunch of winding steps dotted with touts, beggers and hawkers. there's a kali temple that a goat has been sacraficed at daily since 16th century (i guess outlawed in 1980 finally). there are mind blowing frescos, mirrored ceilings, and breath taking views of the city. i liked this one the best.

after having lunch-which almost killed me because i fasted 4 days and ate what he said was "mild" veg biryani and dhal fry, mr ali forced us into yet another textile shop, which really sucked. had to sit through the whole carpet lecture, silks, pashmina, etc etc...me almost pooping my pants from curry, AND they insist on wrapping me in a sari! f....NO NO NO. thank god i got my way, bought a couple pashminas, and darted back into mr. nice ali's taxi.

on the way to the hotel, we stopped for bottles of water. jeff went out to get them. when he left, mr. ali turns to me and says "have you ever been with an indian man before? because you can call me when your husband leaves and meet me here. you teach me yoga, i give you nice body massage. we have lots of fun together."

um.....i'm sure you know the rest of this story. i bought my ticket back to bombay. i'm leaving tomorrow-friday-at 730am.

back to a city you can disappear into, a city that does not tout and hawk you to death unless you want that, a city with at least SOME respect.

rajasthan. it's not at all what i expected.

going to jaipur

after my sickness, we flew to delhi and took a train to jaipur. the plane was the size of a chevy van and had propellers. they squash you into a bus only to drive 20 feet to the plane-this amused me. it took only 90 minutes. i think i like planes now.
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quote of the week
on asking where to find vinyl records
"sir, you must understand-these things no longer exist"
we walked around the corner and found a record seller and bought a dozen filmi albums and 45s.
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new delhi is kind of sterile. the rickshaws aren't allowed to paint cool stuff, so they all look the same. roads are impressively paved, it's kind of clean, no hand painted signs anywhere, and no posters littering the walls. but we were on our way to the old delhi rail station. classic india. great buildings, plenty of trash, lots of hand made graphics. what a difference.
with 4 hours to kill, we hung outside under an umbrella reading newspapers and sipping chai, getting offers of beat up old dudes with long q-tip offering to clean jeff's ears-the qtip was black-ewe. we boarded the famous 3 tier a/c to jaipur, rajasthan for the next 7 hours (because, of course, the train kept stalling). shared space by window view with a cute pair of french lesbians with matching hippie pants and hair and big tshirts and a revolving door of proper indian men. i am very happy to have a view of the countryside UNTIL a man puts his hanging clothes right over the window right in my face. why not?
i was, however, delighted to receive my chai in little earthenware cups-flower pots. but whose lips were there before????

backtracking

well i have been absent for a couple reasons. first, it had been very hard to find dependable internet in punjab. each time i would blog, "POOF!" gone like bad magic. and there are enough irritations here. and after my first real "good" day, i got my first giardia. this one put me flat on my back for 3 days. all because i forgot to dry out a glass before putting liquid in it. this feels like a rodent with long nails is doing laps in your intestine. it's terribly painful, and you shoot gallons of water out of your bum, so you have to drink gallons of water. i had to take antibiotics because i could not combat myself, and had not eaten for 3 days. so that's that.

in response to jeff, he is here. we took seperate flights and it took him 18 hours and me 36 to get to mumbai. he is doing fine, never gets sick, never lets anything bother him. we are very different beings. he will be leaving on the 18th, i'm pretty sure i will be home on 18 january.
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12-3
i visited the golden temple, which was the reason for my going to amritsar. it is the holiest shrine of the sikhs, a sect of the hindu religeon that broke off and formed their own thing around the 18th century for many reasons. they are a very peaceful people and i very much enjoyed being around them. the gold temple was much smaller than i imagined and is surrounded by a pool called amrit sarovat, which means nectar of the gods, where the name amritsar came from. this is enclosed by a beautiful white fort. the temple is open to all denominations, and a wonderful way to spend a beautiful day. before entering, you have to wash your feet and cover your head. you can take prasad-sweets-and distribute inside the different levels in the temple. there are musicians and priests on each floor and the music is broadcast on speakers throughout the compound. great atmosphere. you can watch this on television live every day. and every day at 5am, the holy book is carried into the temple, and removed at sunset. the golden dome is an inverted lotus flower representing the sikhs concern with the problems of the world. there is a sikh museum with paintings of mercinaries who have given their lives, graphic pictures of what was done to them (when they were forced to convert to islam), and one of muslims chopping up babies and making them into garlands and stringing them over the mother's necks. hardcore. there was even one of a sikh being boiled alive, who requested to stare into his guru's eyes as he died. outside is a 400 year old jubi tree believed to have shaded the very first priest-(ram dass?)and women pray there for future children.

afterwards we decided to hire an omni bus and go to wagha border-the border of pakistan and india-to watch the border guards do their competetive good natured dance. this is done daily at sunrise and sunset. the scene is very much like a high school pep ralley. the guards open the border gates and they do a marching kick dance that is remenicint of john cleeses "silly walk" from monty python. this was the most fun i have ever had in india and i went back to my hotel unable to wipe the smile off my face.

till i woke up with giardia.

turbans & bhangra

buying your own ticket at the rail station is a real lesson in hell. over 60 windows to choose from, you have to go to the right one without allowing all the touts to steer you in the wrong direction. focus. 52 was my lucky window. i got second class seats and had to pay in american dollars. why they did not take rupees is beyone me. can you say scam?

i have to take a taxi one hour to bandra, where i have to meet the train. an hour of the worst ghettos i have ever seen, i have been through this ride before. every time the cab stops is an opportunity for beggers to seperate you from your rupees and give you a guilt trip. "maaaaaaa" buy these whistles, buy this, buy that. finally arrive at bandra terminus. millions of flies live here because it's one big pile of waste, consisting of poo, piss, vomit, garbage and dogs feasting on it, children playing in it. totally disgusting.

get to my "room"-actually its a small space with a curtain, and i have to share with "twitchy"-a man who can't sit still. he paces, sits, paces, hums,groans,belches,coughs,farts,paces,snorts for the entire 34 hours. ok. i can deal with this. but 3 hours into the trip arrives a family of 6-queen ma and dud & mum with their 3 abusive kicking screaming bouncing light flicking on and off - staring down at us like gargoyles "children". queenie grandma sitting cross legged applying her cherry red lipstick, with long manicured fingernails and toes, sipping chai, proud as all hell. daddy sitting on twitchy's legs while he pretends to sleep, and we can't do a damn thing about it. they even try to take our room away from us. i repeat the same mantra to myself, cause i can't do nuthin about it-"get through it, get through it, get through it, all things pass, all things pass...." about 6 hours later, finally, they get kicked out. rudest damn people i have ever encountered in all my travels.

arrive in amritsar, punjab 34 long hours later, dumped into a street with nothing but turbans and rickshaws for miles. find the wrong hotel-ooops-super luxury hotel. stay anyhow, cause i deserve it. hot shower, room service, bad bollywood gossip show on plasma tv...and nothing but that delicious bhangra music and gorgeous turbans! god i love turbans!

off to the golden temple. stay tuned

leaving on panjim express

i have purchased my train ticket for amritsar tomorrow at 11 am i leave. it takes 1-3 days to get there, so i don't think you will hear from me for a few days. i also have not been able to post any pictures, even though i've taken some.

so it ends..

ok. here's the rest of the story. i boarded emirates airline finally around 2pm. side note-dubai airport is the best airport and nicest people i have ever encountered and so is their airline. alitalia is the worst, and the least friendly, worst food ever. i do not reccommend alitalia because i heard workers in the airport saying "so what else is new" in response to my problems with them.

so i get seated in a very crowded 3 seat aisle, in the center is a 250 lb.sudanese man who thinks he's all that. now who on earth would seat such a big man in the middle like that? i would have given him mine, but i did not want to be sandwiched between 2 rico suaves. anyhow, he kept staring at me, touching me, making me sit on one side of my ass the entire 2.5 hour trip to bombay. might have been a prince in sudan, but he was no prince in my heart. totally uncomfortable. we arrive in bombay, i try to lose the sudanese and his fancy pal (i really think they thought i wanted their bodies) i wait an hour in immigration, and another hour for my luggage. no luggage. they turn off the machine. i let it go, take down numbers, and figure out what i need purchase. i slowly roam to the other side of the luggage machine only to find one small blue piece sitting on the floor waiting for me like a lost dog. yay! i scurry off to my pre paid taxi, get in the car only to find the driver is totally inexperienced, speaks no english, and has no clue where colaba is. i ask him "taj mahal hotel?" no response. "gateway of india?" what's that? i mean this is the most common place for tourists to stay in all of india, so it's strange he does not know. away we drive. and drive. and drive. and i KNOW we are going around in circles-i see 3 weddings-numerogically it's a 9, which is very auspicious, we see juhu beach, totally crowded, and chowpatty, which has a huge carnival all lit up. i know we are not in the right place, so i take over and direct the poor fool to our destination, dump out my luggage onto the ground and haul myself into my awaiting hotel room. as if nothing ever happened. 18 extra hours later, i sleep 18 hours. i am happy to be here and can't believe i survived such a journey with reletive ease and not much anger whatsoever. i can do anything. it can only get better from here.
i wake in the evening, get some goan cuisine, and check out the new animated hanuman movie at the inox. things are not so bad. not so bad after all.

...with love...from dubai

i write this post with love from dubai because i'm on my 3rd "wait." this is how it began. arrived at chicago airport 1pm friday, boarded at 4pm, sat on frozen plane till 8pm, thrown off and given a $10 food ticket (this buys a sandwich and a small water)and told to return to the gate at 9 because "we are having mechanical problems." i return, and sit till 11pm, we board at 1130, BIG applause at this point.
i fly to milan-takes about 8 or 9 hours, and have to re-book my flight from there to bombay, because i missed my connecting flight. SO i book to dubai, and wait 8 hours in the milan airport, with nothing to do but consume a bottle of italian wine and eat a plate of disgusting cold pasta and fall asleep on the marble floor, waking up in time to board the flight. takes 6 hours to get to the UAE (united arab emirates), and get a flight to bombay, which will give me another "wait" for 6 more hours. fortunately, this airport is very cool, but very expensive, i buy a "fly emirates" t-shirt from duty free, because i stink SO bad-i did not anticipate THIS kind of hell, so i did not pack an extra shirt and have been wearing a wool pashmina all this time to cover my tattoos and for warmth, but it keeps getting warmer with each flight, nor did i pack any deoderent, so i feel sorry for whoever has to sit next to me on my way to bombay. i guess it takes less than 2 hours to get there from here, and another couple hours in a taxi to the hotel, which puts me at about 7pm sunday evening.
you do the math.
i guess the big question on my mind at this point is whether my luggage has followed me around the world.
pray for me.

take a number, have a seat

so getting the visa for india is very much like being in india. first of all, you have to find your way to nbc towers, which is an island in itself, with parking lots that cost upwards of $25, so it's best to be dropped off or walk in from somewhere else. and you have to know the shape of the building in order to find it. tricky. you can apply for visa mon-fri 9-12:30 (excluding the dozens of muslim/hindu/christian holidays and gandhi's birthday) and pick it up between 3:30-5. so we arrived friday around 10. jeff took the day off work, cause there's no other way to do this. at least 150 people ahead of us, our "number" says 39, the digital sign says 02, and they are calling 116 (?) with the next number being 48! we do not know how high these numbers go before it is at zero again. very low rent, no speakers, just one quiet indian whispering numbers (i can't even listen to my new ipod nano) and have to sit on my coat on the floor because all the leather furniture is taken by snoozing indians-ONE person working while 300 india loving suckers sit and wait and wait and wait and wait....
we stayed almost 3 hours only to be told, "you must return next tuesday between 4-5. we are giving our staff the day off because they work so hard."

i come back when told, stand in a line to collect numbers, sit, sit, sit, half an hour later, the entire room gets in 3 lines-left for miscellaneous, right for visa, middle for i'm not sure. no numbers called, dude in front of me is 68, i am 29......he is from turkey, we strike up an amusing conversation about india, he is going to bangalore, chinese woman joins in, we all have a laughing party over all of this......and in an hour i am out the door swooning over our unbelievable chicago skyline and missing home already.
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3 time's a charm

this will be my 3rd trip to the indian subcontinent in 3 consecutive years. i waited 7 months after the first, and 9 after the second. let's see if i stick to the plan. these are the places i plan to visit. the north west!!!
arrive in bombay, fly to amritsar, punjab on the pakistan border to see the golden temple and hang with sikhs, watch the border guards do their competitive dance visit the rat temple, than to dharamsala-where all the exiled tibetans live, including the dali lahma, than to various places in rajasthan (udaipur, jodphur, jaipur, etc.) and through gujarat back to bombay. 3 weeks later, i go back to kerala and mysore for yoga, jeff goes home.
will be travelling on planes,trains,busses, autos,camels,and rickshaws.

stay tuned.....i will arrive on november 26th

wrapping it up

well, folks, i'm afraid this is it for the blog. my life at home is not interesting enough to warrent keeping this going, so this will be my last entry.

today is my final day in india and i couldn't ask for a better last dream. i dreamt that i met amitabh bacchan! i got to sit at a table and talk with and swoon over him. he was so special and gentle, he even let me hold his hand. it was so real, i woke up with tears in my eyes. and the 2 songs that are in my head this morning are "can't smile without you" and "don't fear the reaper."

probably what caused such a dream was the HELP bollywood telethon for tsunami victims that was on for hours last night. the finale was amitabh and his son for the first time in history performing together. this was the best going away present i could ever hope for. everyone who is anyone was on this show. for those who know about such things, i kept a list of the amazing stars that performed or appeared. the absolute highlight was adnan sami, the most amazing singer right now, and shah rukh khan doing a medley of his best. here is a list of the rest: amir khan/rani mukergee/lara dutt/bobby deol/anil kapoor/saif ali khan/uday chopra/fardeen khan/amisha patel/aishwarya rai/amitabah/abishek/srk/sanjay dutt/mallika sherawatt/sajid khan/rekha/yash chopra/rishi kapoor/akshay kumar/kareena kapoor(absolutely terrible with a million bucks worth of diamonds strung around her neck clad in crappy salwar)/strings/koena mitra/ramesh sippy/priety zinta/salman khan and zayeed khan(with a big pot leaf on his tank top-the 2 seemed completely strung out)/sonu nigam(in ripped jeans with a drum between his legs-completely self indulgent)/adnan sami/sameera reddy/vivek oberoi(with a heart wrenching speech about his experience first hand with the victims)/and the gorgeous priyanka chopra.

yesterday i couldn't cross the street to save my life cause the streets were chock full of hari krishnas! they were having their festival and a parade was taking up the streets of bombay. they are blissfully delightful. ahh india.

i roamed the streets behind the prince of whales museum yesterday searching for a thai restaurant. after an hour, i came upon a japaneese restaurant called joss with indonesian, thai and vietnamese influences. this place was very chic. sake, which costs 6 bucks in the states was going for 950rps (almost 20 bucks!) and 6 pieces of sushi for around 10. i guess i don't understand this cause we are so much closer to japan here. it was nice to have a change of food, though. the pre fix menu for 400 rocked-twas one of the best meals i've had here. giant bowl of coconut soup, thai salad, indonesian veggies on rice, and tenderloin or chicken, as well as choice of ice cream. it was a delightful change, since i have officially finally burned out of indian food after 14 weeks of eating it.(don't worry, mr sayed and miss bhabi-i will get the taste back in a few days of being home).

DHOOM-A REVIEW
this is a film that i have avoided since it's release on my last trip to india, but it's still playing after all this time, a rare feat with all the film turnover here. it's a huge huge hit with the young set. i avoided it cause the 2 main actors are pieces of wood-abishek bacchaan and john abraham. however, with enough action and special effects surrounding them, even 2 wooden sticks can produce a flame. the theatre was full of babies-the man in front of me had 5 boys (ching ching jackpot for an indian daddy). the kids absolutely love this one and all the songs, especially the theme song doom macha da are chart toppers and popular cell phone ring tones. tons of action and glitz, very fast motorcycles fueled by nitris oxyde, tons of fights in slow motion on top of speeding semi's, boats leaping, cycles leaping over moving trains, glamerous girlies (esha deol, who now goes by "esha" daughter of very famous bollywood actors hema malini and dharmendra) i think she is still a bit too young, but hey, brittney spears does it. my favorite one was uday chopra. he reminded me of a young dharmendra and i haven't seen him before. there's even a gambling heist in goa aka oceans 11. the movie isn't an art piece, nor does it claim to have any redeeming lessons, however, if action and pyrotechnics is what you are looking for and pure fun, or if you are a boy between the ages of 2 and 25, this film is for you. i'm a 39 year old western female and i liked it a lot. i give it 3 stars.

so that's gonna be it for this blog. i already know how it will all end. i get home after 30 hours of travel, i eat and drink all the things i couldn't get here, even though bombay is pretty diverse, i cuddle my dog for all the dogs i couldn't cuddle in the streets here, i spend days a week re-creating the food memory on devon, i give out indian presents to all the special people in my life like i'm santa clause, i go back to work, i cry every time i listen to rabbi shergill. and as time goes by, i long to come back to india. i put on my salwar kameez, my silver bell ankle bracelets, and i dance around my house to "mahi ve...that's the way..mahi ve......"

bindifry

back in the skillet again...cha cha cha

well the luxury bus, or civalized bus as i like to call it, was not all bad. it was so air conditioned we had to wear wool blankets, and they showed half of a bollywood movie. there were no sleeper cars, but the chairs reclined back a bit, it was as comfy as an airplane. unfortunately, i did not know how winding and hilly the roads were from goa to bombay, which is unfortunate cause i have motion sickness and my dramamine were in my luggage in the belly of the bus. i spent half the time with plastic bags in my lap coughing to try to stave off the vomit. a little pranayama and tossing and turning and cold sweats seemed to do the trick, but i am a light sleeper and even with ear plugs i was unable to catch a wink. and i had to piss for 8 hours and refused to jump off and be a man, which was a big misteak cause i had a bladder full of rusty urine from dehydrating myself. i left at 7pm and arrived at 6am, got dropped off somewhere in the middle of the street in some hood in bombay, and caught a cab that seemed to be pedaled instead of driven. the cabs here are so tiny you can't even fit a backpack in the trunk, so we tossed everything on top and crawled to my destination-the bentley's hotel. when i arrived, the place was totally booked. tried the guesthouse. totally booked. i asked, "is there some kind of festival going on?" "no madam. it always is like this." i guess bombay is crowded with tourists all year round. the only thing going on over here is carnival-their version of mardi gras which was more celebrated in goa cause of it's christian population, and the president of iceland is in town. i'm not sure how big of a deal that is, but whatever. i landed a very expensive room on the sea-tiny room with a tiny tv, a fridge 8 times the size of the tv-how did they know i drank that much beer? and an a/c that barely worked without knobs, so i wasn't able to turn it up. the entire room reeked of mothballs-for the price of 2700rupees!!! "you can stay only one night, madam." so i spent the next day treasure hunting for a place to stay. landed at hotel causaway, on the colaba causway road smack in the middle of panty and shoe stores, hundreds of stalls of tit bits, and shoe shiners and giant balloon salesmen-how do you blow those things up? they are balloons as big as a 12 year old child that the hawkers lunge into your face at every corner-very coney island. anyhow, the place is also small with the same amneities and costs half as much. bombay is the most expensive city in india because the real estate is among the highest in the world. it's cheaper to buy a house in beverly hills. i'm basically re-tracing my steps since last november, eating in the same places, trying to re-live my experience, but it's not really the same. weather is just as hot-this place below sea level without much breeze, kind of like mexico city, very polluted. i found myself eating my first western food today-chicken salad with avocado and russian salad which had peas and potatos on the sandwich. now i'm going to see "lost in translation" again cause it's the last day here. it does appear i am ready to come home, dosen't it? i made my usual pit stop to planet m, the tower records of india, for some more sami-"lucky-no time for love" cd which is all the rage and 7 more movies-(dori-i got your kids a bunch they will love.) i keep smashing down the luggage to fit as much as possible, which means stopping at rhythm house, the better dvd/cd store. like the 30 movies i bought in november are not enough. it's gonna take me till 2010 to watch them all. i also have developed a love for indian pop tunes that are non-film score from watching lots of mtv asia.
this place gets to me if i walk around too long-it's really really crowded, stinky, and the entire city is one big outdoor market with constant hawking and beggers who grab you and don't let go. still, if you like the bustle of new york city, you will like this place.
i did, however, sadly miss my chance to be an extra in a bollywood movie, the premise of this whole trip. a woman approached me and said she was from bollywood, but before i realized what she had proposed to me, i had sent her away and when i tried to run after her, i lost her. boo hoo. big boo hoo.
bindifry

"black" the review/panaji bye bye

"black" a review
so i went to the inox theatre here in panaji, capital of goa to see a much anticipated new movie called black. the inox theatres are the first multiplex theatres in india. they lack the charm of the old movie halls, but make up for it in a/c splendor and cozy armchair comfort, with a darn good snack stall serving everything from soft serve ice cream to samosas and dum maro dum biryani. of course you pay for it, tickets for one movie run around 100 rupees-two bucks (average price goes around 15-50rps).
"black" is kind of a re-telling of the hellen keller story. there are no musical numbers in the movie and it is only 2 hours long, including intermission. half of the film is spoken in english, and is very easy to follow. it stars the gorgeous and massively talented rani mukergee as a deaf, dumb and blind girl with rich and reluctant parents. her "magician" teacher is the great legend amitabh bacchaan of "sholay", "don", and probably over 300 other movies.
the first half of the movie shows "teacher"(his name in the movie) struggling to teach the young michelle (ms mukergee) how to eat with a spoon, spell, talk, and basically behave like a normal human being. of course the parents don't like his methods, cause they seem harsh-he has to sometimes slap her because she needs to be tamed. she is a wild beast who is brilliently portrayed by a new child actress. you can't tell she is acting. there's a whole scene reminicint of the "water" scene in the helen keller story where she learns her first words, water, mom, and papa, and teacher.
intermission. michelle is a young lady for the second half of the filum. she has learned much, but needs "cane" training to become independent. teacher has been with her 18 years and still faces many challanges. he helps her get into a normal university, but she fails year after year, giving up hope. "impossible is not a word i have ever taught her" teacher preaches to all the doubters, including michelle. the kicker is that teacher is getting old, and begins to develop senility, losing his memory, his voice, and his hearing. he has turned into michelle, now she must help him. of course she ends up graduating, it's quite a momentous occasion. and teacher spirals into confusion and than death. be prepared to give up lots of eye water for this one.
i liked this move a lot. both actors deserve awards for their portrayals, including the little girl who plays michelle as a child. on my 5 star scale, i give it a 4.
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well, folks, i'm rounding off another part of this trip. i'm leaving panaji today on a BUS-yes you heard it, a bus-for bombay again. panaji is not like the rest of goa. there isn't a beach here, just a very quaint french-like small city of only 90,000 people with not much to offer except cobblestone roads, great goan and punjab food, and gentle beggers. the goan people have their own look-they are truly a beautiful people, and most speak portuguese. i love the combination of the indian/portuguese food-pinto beans appearing in dhal, for instance, and i love the relaxed atmosphere. it's the only place in india where it's not a sin to drink beer or any other alcohol in public. women drinking in restaurants is normal, which shocked me at my first lunch. i highly reccomend this wonderful little city without a beach. it is surrounded by the mandovi river, so it's not totally dry. if ever you visit goa, don't limit yourself to western drug laden beaches. come to panaji!
see you in bombay-
bindifry

3-tier a/c hell

kisna the review
kisna, or krishna. same thing. vivek is warrior poet! long hair and face whiskers, he's still hunky as hell. and very fitting of him to play krishna. it's 1935 in hardawar, uttaranchael (sp?) in north india, where you can see the ganges and the mountains. movie is in flashback, of course. an old white english woman narrates her story and her love for kisna as a child in 1935 till she hooks up with him after being banished to delhi. it's 1947 during the revolution at this point and the indians are kicking the white man's ass. hence a host of problems, cause the white girl is in love with an indian, even though another indian girl also wants him-white gopi versus brown gopi-can you say "meeeooowww?" the blond, who is actually french is so striking you can't take your eyes off her and speaks bad hindi. the indian is seen constantly praying to her krishna deity for love of kisna and does yoga postures suspended by ropes, we don't really know why, but it looks cool. (jeff-think naach). vivek-krisna-of course plays the flute and the dances are very krishna like, like cloned krisnas blue skinned and all. it's charming, really. as i stated earlier, this movie was filmed in both english and hindi and one song is entirely in english, which is almost impossible to watch. i personally don't think indian movies need to cross over to america. i happen to like indian cinema exactly the way it is. let those that deserve it's bountiful fruits find it for themselves. however, i still will watch it again if it happens to reach chicago in english this spring. the cinematography is breathtaking, the script is not, the best acting is only when the late great amrish puri enters the screen with one blue and one brown eye, just as evil as ever. god i miss him.
should you see this movie? sure, but it's way not on par with many others i've seen. it's a good one to start out with if you are inexperienced in bollywood movies. the seasoned viewers don't need it. i give it a 2.5 out of 5 stars, mughel-e-azam being a perfect 5.
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3 tier a/c does not rock
we took a couple of bulging rickshaws to the trivandrum rail station, got on the train right away. seemed too easy by indian standards. of course it went down from there. skinny indian business men were snoring away in our bunks, so we got put in someone elses bunk. seemed ok for awhile until we got to kochi and were promptly kicked out of our spots by mean indians from london. luggage scattered all over the place, no one to help us. my only choice was to kick out the dude that was fast asleep in my bunk. fun fun fun. me and 5 men crammed into a corner, me sleeping on top of my purse, everyone's luggage chained and safe except for ours. only hours before, we were forced to tip jerks who pointed to our seats, and a waiter with a drinking problem from the velvet dawn who followed us to the rail station and also begged for money for booze, cause he had gotten fired from the restaurant for bugging the guests for money and being drunk. seriously creepy. not a wink of sleep for me, dudes staring at my ankles, me worried about my luggage, the english indians cursing us out. luckily the rest of the trip was mild, some of the dudes had gotten off in mangalore, so there was more room. no privacy at all, and way too cold. food is always good on the rail, though. bathrooms clean, which is always surprising here. of course we thought we were out of the red until we tried to exit the train. just think "haj stampede" and you will understand why indians crush each other to death every month. this giant indian woman crammed her body into mine and refused to let me off till her and 100 others got on, me with huge pieces of luggage, backpack, yoga mat and purse. i wound up my arm to punch her out, but than the indian jail scene popped into my head just in time. she told me not to push, i screamed at her, it was ugly. and than my new bag ripped totally in half, exposing all my stuff. weeee... got into a 500rp government taxi for the hour long ride to panaji. next time i go first class. forget being herded like cattle for 18 hours.
still, goa rocks and panaji is charming as all hell.
bindifry

brilliant word massacre

i went to santana restaurant for the first time yesterday. and to my delight, upon opening the menu, was the most brilliant display of misspelled words i have ever seen. here's the list of winners and their apparent translation:
mashroom-mushroom
spagathy-spagetti
macroni-macaroni
potato cack-potato cake
peanet-peanut
pease-peas
boild-boiled
chees-cheese
omlet-omelet
lessy-lassi
peana culada-pina colada
bloody merry-bloody mary
musle-muesli
cabab-kabob
sweshwan-(this one's my favorite) szechwan
sous-sauce
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tit bits n observations
velvet dawn 830am
to my left is a giant english dude making his prescence known by crashing down in his chair. i've been waiting a half an hour for coffee and orange juice. he screams to the waiters-i'm in a hurry and i want my breakfast right away. of course this amuses me and i look right at him sternly, feel like telling him that mcdonalds is right down the street, but that's not true.

and to my right is a bloke who is the spitting image of michael caine. what's really funny is that he is reading a book on tantra. i had the pleasure of noticing his cd collection, also, which contained whitesnake!

the ladies came out in their beautiful saris yesterday for the holiday-combo republic day, martyrs day, dandi march day, gandhi death day. i especially love the kerala saris, which are all white with different colored trim. i guess when a woman wearsa white sari anywhere else in india, it means she's a widow. i think the kerala sari is the most beautiful. when the people dress up here, they look like peacocks, beautiful silks in pink and blue, green and yellow, with the little ones all decked, complete with jasmine flowers in their hair. it's a sight to behold.

so the movie i will see today, "kisna" with vivek oberi about a love affair between an indian stud and an english woman during the revolution has made indian film history according to the bbc. it is the very first indian movie shot entirely in hindi and than again in english. the english version will be released in the spring. hopefully in chicago!!! i will report back on the movie next blog. watch for it, folks. looks like a real good one. i've been watching the videos for weeks.

bindifry

in india, everyday is a holiday

so if you want to follow ellen's blog, it's at
www. extrachiliplease.blogspot.com
it's completely eerie now that all of the yoga students have vacated kovalam. it's surprising how much room we take up here. the hawkers and beggers really get to me after 3 months, my personal india limit, and i find myself not looking at anyone anymore, cause if your eyes meet, it means a potential sale or free money for them. every other day a bus arrives full of beggers that drape the paths all over kovalam, blocking you from walking. they begin to outnumber the tourists, and they are DESPERATE. you can be faced with a full throttle assault, often being blocked by 3 nasty sarong pushers. it's exhausting. india is one of those places you can't wait to leave, yet upon returning to home soil, all you can do is dream about it and count the days when you can return. what is that???
another temple fest at sri devi, burning and bombs, speakers installed AGAIN. yesterday was "republic day" and today is "martyrs day" commemerating mahatma gandhi's peace march. here in india every day is a holiday and the beach is scattered with tons of indians, men wearing nothing, women swimming in full sari. strange country.
bindi

rabbi, shakira, ellen part 2 oh my

i must confess i think i really like shakira. she can really dance, has a great voice, and is real pretty. in fact, i'm thinking of modeling my hair after her when i return. it's kind of like "heart" when they were doing the eighties thing.

wrapped up another 2 long and particularly grueling months with lino. he always closes with a full vinyasa class, which is always fun. it was anti-climatic cause i did it last year. now comes the hard part-maintaining some kind of vigorous practice. last year upon returning from india for 4 months, i got injured immediately and wasn't able to get as strong. than i slacked, and ate like a maniac cause i'd become anemic and weak from being very sick. i gained over 20 pounds. i'm so hoping i don't do that again. luckily i've not been craving western food at all, just avocados sometimes and salads. indian food is far more tasty, less bland, and extremely healthy. lots of people come here and only eat cornflakes, pizza, and omelets. i don't think i've had a single morsel of western food. i actually can't wait to eat at my favorite local indian restaurant-"bhabi's kitchen" when i get home.

here's a list of the strange movies playing on the strange cable channel called C.W.-cineworld.
captain invincible
glory man
cut
death on saturns moon
the killer inside
hold my hand i'm dying(with a full on drunk oliver reed)
popcorn
black cat
drunken tai chi
mission hill
monkey trouble (harvey keital and a chimp)
fart-the movie
terminal bliss

i've discovered a great indian pop star named rabbi shergill. he is a philosopher, quoting sufi poets, a farmer, and a rock star gorgeously clad in full on kurta-muslim wear-and a beautiful turban (i confess to having a thing for turbans-i really think they're sexy) there was a special on republic day on mtv asia with him, bikram ghosh-which you might know from ravi shankar and anoushka's band, and prem joshua, the danish god of indian fusion-NOT my cup of tea. too repetetive and new age.

why everyone's talking about rabbi shergill
http://www.indianexpress.com/full_story.php?content_id=63085
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ellen's corner-adventures in SE asia part 2

Let me bring you up to date... A couple of days ago, I woke up for my last morning in HCMC
My ankle was much better so I practiced and swam...Afterwards, I was headed back towards my hotel and encountered this fantastic aroma of butter flour and sugar..PASTRY!!!!...I followed my nose to this perfect little french bakery on a side street and proceeded to scarf down two of the most delectable croissants I have ever devoured washed down by some super-strong vietnamese coffee.( i like it black and strong, but the coffee here requires sugar and milk)..Headed back to my deluxe hotel and took a nice hot bath as I'll be staying in guesthouses again for the next 7 days...
I flew to Danang (one hour) and picked up a cabbie out front..He took me to the Cham museum ( the only one in the entire world) which was a pure delight...the style of carving is nothing I've ever seen before... a mixture of Hindi, chinese, with a little art nouveau thrown in...We drove throught the marble mountains where there are temples carved into the hillside..Nothing like ajanta or ellora...more pueblan?..
I arrived in Hoi An and walked about for the rest of the afternoon...It is a beautiful little town
of fisherman and tailors but it has been possessed by mass-consumerism...I was talking to this nice vietnamese man..He said that 15 years ago they had one hotel..now they have 73...they also had 20 tailor shops..now 200 plus....there are art shops and tons of souvenir shops..not really my scene...but very lovely...
Yesterday I got up at the crack of dawn to head out to My Son(beautiful mountain)..Ancient Champa ruins...They were totally devastated by the US bombing the Viet Cong...I have been feeling ashamed of my nation alot on this journey...Spoke with some Dutch fellows in detail about politics the other night...They don't hate ALL americans any longer...I turned them on to some anti-bush web sites, which they were really excited about..They basically feel like we all must be complete idiots to reelect that moron....Inaugaration?..Egad I think it's a done deal...GROSS!!
The temples were a disappointment after angkor..how can you top that?..When the bus returned to hoi an i rented a bicycle and rode out to this island of potato farms, rice paddies, banana and coconut plantations...it was one of my favorite afternoons thus far..People were very suprised to see a westerner and kept asking me "were yoyu are going to?"
I took an entire roll of photos..
I tried a new dish yesterday called Cao lau..They are about the thickness of linguine but square...made of rice flour and this special water you can only get from one well here in town..
talk about isolating your cuisine! ...the noodles are served in a lemongrass broth with fried wontons squares(they call them croutons)..fresh greens , scallions and Pork ( or tofu)...it was very good and the texture of the noodles is unique...there is another tradition here called the white rose which is sort of like shrimp shumai but the wrapper is folded in the lovely floral shape..
Today I'm off to the train station in danang and then up the coast to Hue and the DMZ
I'll tour the vietcong tunnels up there but i don't think i'll check out the US airbase museum/
The guest house lady just brought me my breakfast..it is a banana pancake that looks more like indian fry-bread.. and i honestly think it is smothered in Hersheys chocolate syrup..
So much for asian food...Gotta Go .. it smells delish.....love, ellen

bindifry

coiffed for god/adventures in southeast asia pt.1

i would first like to post some of my good friend ellen's e-mails that come from southeast asia. she is visiting cambodia, vietnam and thailand. here's the first installment:
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Here I am in Saigon..It is an awe-inspiring city teeming with people..about half the size of Mumbai but Viet Nam is a teensy little country. I went out on the street to have this freaky drink...It is black beans, white beans , tamarind, mango shreds, pineapple chunks, fresh coconut, passionfruit juice, shaved ice and cream...It is served in a tall glass with a spoon and it is astonishly delicious and refreshing. I arrived here in Ho Chi Minh city by bus from Phnom Penh..An interesting but dodgy little city that could use a couple of coats of paint and some rain to wash away the urine..I went to the killing fields and toul seng which was a torture and detention center during the khmerrouge fiasco...I absolutely loved the Khmer people(native cambogias)...Very slight and beautifulwith full smiles, prominent cheek bones and eyes that are full of laughter...Cambodia is a sadly poor country and the sex trade there is one of the worst in the world...Alot of the garment factories are being shut down and women have no other way to make a living..It is a devastating cycle...Tourism is there only hope, but the temples of angkor can only provide so much for the economy... English is taught in all of the schools and the children in Siem Reap (Angkor Wat) are very well spoken and wildly enthusiastic about practicing what they have learned..In Viet Nam, not so much...I'll be staying here for the next 10 days traveling up the coast to hanoi and halong bay so I've been learning a little of the language...Fortunately they have the same alphabet as we do...Thank you France!! In Cambodia everything is in US dollars...It really enrages the Europeans and Aussies..But it is nice not to have to do the math...Here it is the dong...confusing...15,540 is a dollar..Egad...my mathematical skills seem to havetaken a nose dive... The temples were absolutely amazing!..I stayed 5 days instead of three...to see more. Today I was hit by a moto driver...he knocked me off my feet on the side of the street andI have a sprained ankle and a gash in my ring finger...the bastard didn't even stop but all of these lovely folks attended to me and a sidewalk vendor brought me a bag of iced coffee to refresh myself and pack my ankle...Most of the beverages inThailand, Cambodia and Viet Nam are served in a 2 handled little bag with a bent straw...I love it...Beats the crap out of disposable cups..I've got to fly...I am going to hobble over to the opera house to check out the symphony...20 bucks...not so bad..Viet Nam is much cheaper than Thailand or Cambodia...I understand it will be much cooler up north...It'll prepare me for the long journey home.
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back to india
so no matter what the men do here, digging ditches, selling coconuts, building a wall-no matter how rich or poor, they ALL have the most perfect hair ever. my favorite pastime is watching the menfolk pass by and i just swoon at their grooming abilities and attention to detail. we sloppy americans can learn much from the coiffed indian. it's a god thing. or a bollywood thing. whatever it is, it works.

i was roped into "mother theresa's internet"this morning by my friend salman. i've been coming here almost exclusivel for 2 years, until one day i discovered the high speed giant screen computers a few steps down. unfortuantely i have to walk fast past salman, cause you really feel like your cheating on them when you do that. so here i am using internet i really don't want to use! the fruit ladies on the beach are the same. once you buy fruit from one, they own you. i have seen MANY catfights on the beach over cunning fruit queens "stealing" other fruit queen's customers! and these ladies are HARDCORE. you are never allowed to NOT have fruit for a day, so you have to search for alternate routes to walk so you don't get accosted.

this morning i saw a desperate man selling drugs in broad daylight, desperate as all hell. even coming into restaurants to do so. i have never seen that before-they usually only do that at night. i have heard most of the creeps selling are merely trying to support their own habit. sad. BUT his hair looked REAL good!
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*5 YEAR OLD SACRAFICED
a 5 yr. old was sacraficed by a man to gain spiritual power today. this is the third such incident in a month.

*ARMY JAWARS PUSH 7 OUT OF A TRAIN
5 were crushed to death by the sampurna kranti express which was passing by at that moment. the civilians were thrown out of the train cause the army said the seats they were sitting in were reserved for army personal.

*5.5 TONNES OF GARBAGE REMOVED
"keep kovalam clean" campaign-475 volunteers sporting t-shirts bearing the slogan "less waste, more future"
-i noticed most of the teens were simply milling about talking on their cell phones instead of working, just like the maid in my hotel who finds little patches of shade in corners and hides there all day. she can actually make herself the size of a cashew!! scares the crap out of me when i "think" i am alone.

*HORRORS ON V.C.D.
-new releases are ruling the black market video charts: compilations of grisley pictures and videos of the tsunami horror selling for 4 times the price of, "swades."
-great demand for them-running out of stock. it shows everything-how people died, how they were buried, people who were saved, bloated bodies, cremations, property destruction. they are of good quality and sound.

bindi will be publishing a couple more excerpts from ellen's journey. i just hate to keep her adventures to myself.

bindifry

biogems and tranny

today i saw my first tranny on the beach. english tranny. cool.

yesterday sharaf came by to deliver kerala food. when i saw him, i asked him what bakrid meant. his answer was, "you take small cow and....cccctttt"-he makes a gesture of his hand moving across his throat. "so you mean bakrid means to cut the head off of a cow? you do it quick, right?" "no, slowly with a small knife you cut cut." "oh." "also a chicken and a bahh bahhh..." "a goat?" "yeah, a goat." "then you chop chop chop in pieces and take around." (?) so according to my muslim friend with very limited english, bakrid means decapitation.
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tit bits
JEWELRY MADE FROM 300 GALSTONES
inspired by the shapes and colors of the stones taken out, s. valsaladevi, pathologist, gave an artistic form to these "biogems" and designed a set of ornaments, necklace, bracelets and earrings, using the stones.

PARVEEN BABI DEAD AT 50
found dead in her home in juhu, she was known as the glamourous heroine of yesteryear. her first bollywood movie in 1973 was, "charitraheen," she went on to star in the famous filums, "deewar," and "amar akbar anthony." the cause of her death is not known.

PYGMY HIPPOS FOUND IN KERALA
not only pygmy elephants (remember?), but now pygmy hippos have been found in the same wildlife forest.

bindifry

goodbye sri devi, hello BAKRID!

*tsunami death toll-226,500
*dude without a shirt is STILL without a shirt
*chick in yoga class STILL using undiluted lavander essential oil and making lots of enemies
*yoga teachers ARE human beings
*46 more pictures at:

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/ljhill11/album?.dir=9e08&.src=ph&store=&prodid=&.done=http%3a//photos.yahoo.com/ph//my_photos
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friday morning on the way to yoga, i was passed by several strong men each carrying away the massive metallica speakers on their heads up the hill and probably to the local mosque for yet another festival, muslim celebrated bakrid. sri devi temple fest lasted 8 days, not 3 or 5 or 10 or 12, which is what everyone told me. indians would rather lie to you than say "i don't know." it's just not part of their culture. they feel it's rude. so lying is better.(?) it gets to the point that you have to take a poll and go with the common denominater. the rewards i reap during muslim holidays is home made food. i have several sources and lots of muslim friends. i have no idea how long this holiday is, but like the mosque itself, their fests tend to be a little simpler, a little quieter. the hindu temples are very ornate, as their festivals. interesting.
i did enjoy the "experience" of the festival in my yard, however, 3-4 days would have been plenty. lots of sleep lost, can't hear so well. now i know why so many indians talk SO loud. when they were lighting off the m80s, women, children and men of all ages just stand right next to the explosions without covering their ears or even wincing at the massive sounds. amazing.
i'm gonna try to find some info on bakrid and will submit it next blog.

have come across the only "b" movie cable channel called cineworld or C/W. i was lucky enough to catch, "turkey shoot," an aussie movie from '81, a cult classic in the b-movie world. prisoners wearing bright yellow jumpsuits are released on an island so the authorities can hunt em down. hillariously graphic. unbelievable even.

bindifry

PRISONER OF HELL!!!

velvet dawn had live music this week. keyboards, 6 foot indian giant on vocals, a carlos santana clone on guitar, and mr. tambourine man. i've never seen a tambourine fronted santana cover band before. the entry was, "samba pa ti," followed up by some deep purple, and then a little french, americana, and german folk tunes thrown in. twas mildly amusing.
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i got some cool christian rag with a picture of a business suit clad dude with shackles binding him to a tree stump wrapped in an anaconda with it's tounge touching his. he is standing on the edge of a cliff that is red (hell?) and behind him are 2 black and 1 red cross. below this picture reads, "he who does what is sinful is of the devil." the pamphlet reads WHO WILL DELIVER ME.
i love this sort of stuff, cause it gets weirder when you are far from home. how's this:

-woman goes to church, yet remains a drunkard and murderess
-wicked cause she makes that cursed drink-BEER!!
-"sin has bound my hands and feet, i am a PRISONER OF HELL!!!"
-"i killed my first born son!! i had him in a back pack and i was drunk and rolled on him and squashed the head of my sweet little son so he died!!!"
"what a wretched person i am! who will deliver me?"
THE ANSWER
jesus is the answer
the next page shows business man happy with bible in one hand, other arm stretching upto the sun rising in the hills behind him, the cross hangs the shackles and the dead snake.
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tit bits
*kareena kapoor looks like barbara streisand
*sting is playing in bangalore and new delhi feb. 4 + 5 th. the new brian adams me thinks
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hindu bits

*boy injured in freak accident
-8 yr. old alameen was seriously injured in his left eye when his teacher threw a pen at him to ensure his attention to the blackboard

*avoid sun-baked bricks for pongal
-environmental problems created from devotees baking bread

*pygmy elephants in kerala forest
-2 men encountered a small herd of 5 foot tall pybmy elephants in peppara wildlife sanctuary in kerala last week.

*guidelines for using elephants in temple rituals
-animals were not made to stand for over 4 hours for rituals
-conpetitions for selecting good-looking elephants avoided
-presence of spca (society prevention cruelty animals) present with 5 or more tuskers
-elephants with musth was an offence (?)
-animals taken in lorries over 30km
-mahout 3 year minimum experience
-force should not be applied
-fireworks should not be lit where tuskers are tethered

bindifry